April is always one of those months for me; Sad & Happy. Some people find it hard to believe that you can be happy about the death of a loved one. It's not happiness... it's more joy. There is joy in knowing that we live on. Without pain and suffering. When I say pain and suffering I'm not just referring to those things that come with having a disease that we might live with, but in our everyday lives. There is pain and suffering that comes from just being alive, being human! Specifically I'm referring to my Mom who passed away on April 14th... that's 13 years ago! (which seems like yesterday really)
It's hard to believe that so many years have passed since I last got to talk to my Mom. As I sit here, so close to giving birth to our 5th child, I can't imagine my children not having a mother to talk to, to see, touch, cry on, love on, live with. It seems so sad. So sad that just the thought of my kids not having their Mom at any point in their lives brings tears to my eyes. It seems so wrong, cruel, and heartbreaking... yet I, myself, went through this very thing, and I don't view it that way at all. I rest in the peace that God has given me an abundance of gifts... one of those being the knowledge that there is life after death. I might add, that can be a good thing for some of us, or a bad thing! Life after death isn't just heaven. There is a hell and it is real. The joy I have when I think of my Mom and that her life is over... is because I know her life on Earth is over, but she lives on in heaven with our merciful savior. Merciful? Yes... I say that because he has the power to save us if he so chooses, when we don't deserve it. Even though I miss my Mom so much and can't help but think about how things would have been had she never got that breast cancer... what kind of relationship we would have grown into... what kind of Nana she would have been to all of her dear grandchildren... but God has a plan and I may not understand it now, but some day I'll understand it! Or at least if I don't, it won't matter!!
The funny thing is God may have 'taken' my Mom away from me in this life... but 2 years later he brought the man I ended up marrying into my life. Literally, we met on April 14th!! So honestly that day just can't be bad! God has blessed me with WAY more than I deserve. I have an amazing husband who loves me for me... He's an amazing father to his 4... soon to be 5 children! They adore him almost as much as I do!
In addition to that, I've become an Aunt 3 times during the month of April with in the last few years. Campbell, who is 10 now!! Wow!! She is such a sweet, talented, and adorable girl!! I love her more than she knows!! I'm so proud to call her my niece!!
Then last year we welcomed sweet little Ashton into our lives! It's hard to believe she's already 1! She is such a laid back, lovable little thing, I'm excited to see what kind of personality she's going to end up with!
To top it all off, just yesterday (April 17th), Nathan and Missy welcomed their newest little addition to the family; Elijah! My heart just melted as I sat there holding him.
How can God do that? What man on Earth could figure out how to create an actual human life? (Might I add, what man should have the right to end a life either?... but that's an entirely different subject we'll save for another blog!!) Even though I know I won't be welcoming any babies to our lives this month, in May we will definitely have another bundle of joy! One that was knit in my womb by our heavenly father. It's hard to fathom that he knew us at that time of our lives. Before we even physically enter this world he gave us, he knew us! How amazing is that!! Anyway, I thought I should put my two cents in on life and death! Not to put a damper on what was supposed to be uplifting, I feel like I should continue on with being 'real'. We all will die. Where are you living your eternity? Being a 'good person' doesn't cut it. You can't earn your way to heaven. Like Dave Ramsey says: Live now like no one else, so later you can live like no one else!" If you know who Dave Ramsey is you know he is referring to money... not life... but that's the perfect little saying for heaven and hell too, if you think about it!! It's not easy to live a life different from how most everyone else lives, but one day we all are going to die and go somewhere. That place isn't temporary either, like Earth. Once you get where you're going, you're there for good! Forever!! Why risk it?
Then last year we welcomed sweet little Ashton into our lives! It's hard to believe she's already 1! She is such a laid back, lovable little thing, I'm excited to see what kind of personality she's going to end up with!
To top it all off, just yesterday (April 17th), Nathan and Missy welcomed their newest little addition to the family; Elijah! My heart just melted as I sat there holding him.
How can God do that? What man on Earth could figure out how to create an actual human life? (Might I add, what man should have the right to end a life either?... but that's an entirely different subject we'll save for another blog!!) Even though I know I won't be welcoming any babies to our lives this month, in May we will definitely have another bundle of joy! One that was knit in my womb by our heavenly father. It's hard to fathom that he knew us at that time of our lives. Before we even physically enter this world he gave us, he knew us! How amazing is that!! Anyway, I thought I should put my two cents in on life and death! Not to put a damper on what was supposed to be uplifting, I feel like I should continue on with being 'real'. We all will die. Where are you living your eternity? Being a 'good person' doesn't cut it. You can't earn your way to heaven. Like Dave Ramsey says: Live now like no one else, so later you can live like no one else!" If you know who Dave Ramsey is you know he is referring to money... not life... but that's the perfect little saying for heaven and hell too, if you think about it!! It's not easy to live a life different from how most everyone else lives, but one day we all are going to die and go somewhere. That place isn't temporary either, like Earth. Once you get where you're going, you're there for good! Forever!! Why risk it?
